Here's to never growing up

Hvis i ikke allerede har fundet ud af det, så er en af de ting jeg er mest bange for at grow up og jeg ville allermest ønske jeg bare kunne være den her alder forever, som sådan funger det jo bare ikke. En ting jeg har fundet ud af det her år er, at der er mange ting der er vigtigere end perfect hår, dyrt tøj og thigh gap. Hvorfor vil du spille timer på at sidde foran spejlet og finde alle dine fejl og derefter prøve at dække dem til. Hvorfor ikke nyde tiden sammen med skønne mennesker, som elsker dig ligemeget hvad i stedet, for at banke dit eget selvværd helt i bund. Hvis folk virkelig elsker dig, vil det ingen forskel gøre om dit hår er perfekt glat, eller bare i knold, de vil stadig elske dig. Så hvorfor vil du spilde livet på at grow up, når livet er meget sjovere hvis du kan være barnlig og ung og gøre hvad du vil og ikke tænke over hvad andre mener om det.
Så i går da vi var i forlystelsespark fik vi da malet vores ansigt, og vi havde det skide skægt. Livet ville stinke hvis du altid skulle gøre hvad der er forventet af dig....

En undervands food

Har får I lige et før og efter billede af hvad jeg fik her til aften

Vi er lidt søde

I lørdags var jeg ude og shoppe med Alexis, så her får i lige et par søde billeder af os. Så lørdagen gik som sagt med shopping, hvor jeg fik købt 4 par shorts, 3 bikinier og 4 sommertoppe. Senere kom nogle af pigerne over og vi lavede et lille bål og sov i telt. Jeg vågnede som den første søndag morgen, så jeg gik ind og tog mit løbetøj på og løb en lille tur. Senere den dag tog vi en tur ned til søen, hvor båden er og tog en sejltur i den. Om aftenen tog jeg hen til Levi til bonfire, det var super hyggeligt! Åh kommer til at savne det. I går havde vi fri, så vi tog ned i en park nede ved søen, så der brugte vi hele dagen. Jeg er snotforkølet så det var rimlig nitten! I dag har jeg ikke været i skole, for er så forkølet.

My biggest fear is growing up

Growing up is so scary, can I just stop?!
I really don't want to grow up it scares me so much. I wish I could go back to being a little kid again. I  wish most caring about what I was wearing, how my hair looked and most of all what other people think about me.
I like my age right now. Can I just stay 16 forever please? I don't even wanna turn 17...17 just sound so old. Like 16 is just the perfect age. The older you get the more responsibilities you get but I don't want any responsibilities. Just thinking about starting gym is extremely overwhelming. I feel like I'm being forced to grow up when I start gymnasiet. I have no idea what I want to be or what I wanna do with my life. The only thing I know right now is that I wanna be happy. I don't even care how much money I'm going to make. I just want to be able to look back at my life someday without too many regrets and look back and with a smile. Just thinking about that I someday have to work and pay bills is so scary and overwhelming. Can I please just stay 16 forever.
I DON'T WANNA GROW UP IT IS SO FUCKING SCARY 

PROM!

Prom var super sjovt og hyggeligt! Dagen startede stille og roligt ud med at jeg blev vækket af Kari der løb skringene rundt i huset kl. 7. Så jeg stog op og fik lidt morgenmad og så gik morgenen ellers stille og roligt. Omkring klokken 12 ordnede Kari mine negle (falske negle) og så efter det var det tid til at smutte til frisøren. Jeg havde tid kl.1 men da vi kom var de allerede en halv time bagud, så det stressede mig pænt meget ud, men det blev min tur og jeg satte mig i stolen og understregede at jeg IKKE ville have mine hår stramt tilbage eller virkelig små krøller. Så hun gik i gang med at ordne mit hår og det, men det så så grimt ud ,så Kari og min værtsmor måtte træde ind og prøve at se om de kunne gøre det bedre, men det lykkedes ikke rigtig, og så fordi jeg var så vildt stresset begynde jeg at tude helt vildt, for jeg ville jo ikke have mit hår så mega grimt ud. Så kom ejeren og sagde alt muligt lort om, at det var min skyld at de havde kunder, som nu flippede ud, fordi de var forsinkede og så blev min værtsmor mega sur, for de var allerede forsinket da vi kom. Så hun gik ug og skældte ejeren ud og han kom så tilbage og undskyldte. Frisøren tog så det hele ud af mit hår og krøllede det hele og så endte jeg pænt meget med at ordne det selv. Så efter alt der græderi var mine øjne og ansigt røde, så da vi kom hjem blev jeg nød til at få øjendråber og vandre rundt med en koldt vaskeklud på mit ansigt. Efter det var der ikke særlig længe til vi skulle være hos Zoey, så jeg måtte lige få langt makeuppen og så var det over til Zoey, hvor en masse var. Vi fik taget billeder og alt det fis og så kørte vi hen på skolen, hvor vi skulle tjekke ind. (allerede her var mine fødder totalt døde!). Da vi havde alt det ordnet kom limoen og hentede os og kørte os med til aquariumet som er ca. 1 time væk. ligeså snart vi kom ind i limoen tog jeg mine sko af RELIEF! Da vi kom derned tog vi lidt flere billeder og så gik vi indenfor. Vores hold skulle først toure, så vi fik set alle fiskene og hajerne og alt det fis og så skulle vi spise. Vi blev nød til, at sidde på gulvet pga. manglende bordplads. Mens vi sag og spiste knækkede Dans gaffel og hans tallerken fløj og alt hans mad landede på Courtneys kjole, men vi fik ordnet det og vi fik der af hendes kjole. Efter det gik vi ned for at danse, men vi fik ikke danset så længe fordi så skulle prom king and queen kåres. Da det var overstået dansede vi resten løs resten af tiden. Da det var slut kom limoen og hentede og og kørte os hjem til Zoey igen. Med det samme skiftede vi alle sammen til comfy tøj og gik nedenunder for at se en film, men tror vi alle sammen faldt i søvn. Da vi vågnede spiste vi morgenmad og efter det gik mig og Zoey ud til køerne, for at kæle lidt med dem (Zoey bor på en farm) mens vi andre slappede af indenfor. Efter det kørte vi rundt på 4 wheelers og en golfvogn agtig ting med et lille lad, hvor mig, Courtney, og 2 af drenge sad godt klemt sammen, men vi styrtede afsted ud over markerne, så det bumlede noget, så det var med at holde fast, så man ikke faldt ud. Efter det slappede vi lidt af og fik lidt, at spise og så var det tid til at gå ud og samle æg fra hønsene. Så nu er jeg rimligt træt, men det var helt FANTASTISK!
Det eneste billede jeg har lige nu er det her af mig og Shea, men skal nok uploade nogle flere ligeså snart jeg får dem.

Paaaaaniiiiiik

Her den anden dag havde jeg Maria med i skole og det var superhyggeligt. Det var måske bare en smule synd for hende at den dag skulle vi selvfølgelig se en fødsel og hvordan en baby først ligner en grim lille alien før den er helt udviklet ADRK! helt seriøst babyer har ikke engang øjenlåg først så det er bare store runde hvide øjne der stirrer på dig og så ligner deres arme og fødder frøfødder og adder har ikke lyst til at tænke på det, det var virkelig ulækkert! kan virkelig ikke forstå, at jeg engang var sådan et grimt, ulækkert lille alien monster. Men anyways udover det var det super!
Prom er i om en uge!!!!!!!!! og jeg kan stadig ikke finde ud af hvordan jeg vil have mit hår! PANIK- hvis i har nogle ideer, så kom meget gerne med dem!

Som bonus får i lige et link til den her sang som jeg lytter til på repeat...elsker dem!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgFeZr5ptV8

......

I just realized I only have 2 months left here. I don't know how to feel about it because I can't wait to see my family and all my best friends again but at the same time I don't want to leave my family and friends here. My exchange year have been so far from everything I expected it to be and sometimes I wonder why I'm even here. Why I'm not home in Denmark partying and having fun with all my friends. Sometimes I wonder if my friends really misses me and how it is gonna be when I'm back and I'm no longer the person they said goodbye to 8 months ago...Will they still love me? Are we gonna have anything to talk about? Are they gonna have so many new friends that I'm no longer important to them. Questions like that are always on my mind. I miss getting my daily hug from my parent more than anything. I miss my life in Denmark and this year really made me realize how wonderful my life was.
I still remember counting the days till I left. The flight - 48 hours without sleeping -The waiting - How nervous  I was - Feeling like I was only gonna be away for a week - How I felt like I could conquer the whole world.
I remember my first meeting with the soccer team. Not being able to understand anything they said to me - just standing there smiling - not knowing that these girls would end up meaning the world to be - not knowing that these girls would be one of the reasons I survived this year.
I remember my first school day. Waking up really early and somehow almost showing up late anyways. Being completely overwhelmed as soon as I took a step into the school, I was ready to turn around and just leave, it was so extremely overwhelming.Feeling like a little mouse in the middle of a big corn field. Having to ask 5 people how to get to the class and feeling really stupid. Having to introduce my self and say my name 100 times. Sitting in class wondering who to sit with at lunch, if any of these people would become my friends. Wanting people to talk to me but being terrified when they did. Wondering what they thought of me and trying to listen to the teacher at the same time. Being mad because all these emotions and the food made my face break out. Slowly getting use to the big school. Hating some of my classes - having boring classes that made my mind wander instead of listening to the teacher. Wanting school to be over so I could see the soccer team. Practice, having fun and smiling for some time. Then soccer season ended and I had the worst time of my life - I was as down. I felt like I was standing on the bottom of a deep deep pit, so deep that it would be impossible for me to ever get up again. I remember crying every night. Calling home. Felling helpless. Being ready to take the next plane home. Being sad just became a part of my life. It was not just sometimes it was all the time. Having to hide how I felt was not easy - having to put on a fake smile all the time. Just wanting to run away and never see those people again. Calling YFU and feeling even more helpless. Feeling like they didn't understood me and how bad it was. I remember that time when they told they couldn't promise to move me. I was with her - she had basketball practice and had to leave me - I remember sitting on the floor in a completing foreign school crying - brawling my eyes out - just wanting someone to hug me. I remember when they finally told me I could move but they couldn't promise I could stay in this area. Leaving the house to cry because I didn't want to leave my new best friends and start over at a new school. Feeling like no one understood me. Just wanting to feel loved. Finally getting a new family. Moving in with them - being so happy to get away from the old place. At first being very shy. Being afraid it wouldn't work out either. After only a few days there feeling like it couldn't be more right. Feeling like I finally belonged somewhere. Feeling the happiness slowly coming back. Finding myself smiling for no apparent reason. Then being excited to leave, to get away for a week. Didn't expect much but that week ended up being the turning point. It turned everything upside down. Constantly smiling, laughing, feeling completely carefree. Being surrounded be people who understood me. Just having the time of my life. Feeling like no one could ever bring me down again. Before I knew it I was flying across the country back to Pennsylvania. Wanting to talk about that week all the time. Feeling HAPPY! Then the holidays came and I was really starting to feel like I was becoming a part of my new family. Expecting to get really homesick, but I didn't because I was happy and surrounded by lovely people. Starting the new semester and from the first day loving every single class. Being excited to go to school for a change. Slowing growing closer and closer with my new family. Finally reaching the point where I felt 100% comfortable with my family. Having some one to talk to when things get rough. Having someone who hugs me when I need it. Some one who knows me well enough to tell when I'm not in a good mood. Feeling loved. Feeling like it couldn't get any better. Feeling like everything is perfect. Reaching the point where I don't want to leave. Thinking about it makes me cry. I don't want to leave my new sister, my new parents and all my friends. I just don't want to. I love them all so much. Just wishing  my american family and friends would move to Denmark so I could see them everyday. I know I'm going to miss my american family when I'm back - I'm gonna miss them just as much as I'm missing my Danish family right now. I love my life here and I couldn't be happier. I'm not ready to give up my life here. I'm not ready to give up waking up and getting ready with my sister. Having someone to borrow shoes or clothes from. Having someone to braid my hair. Sleeping in Kari's bed when I'm scared of something. Hugging her. Loving her. Just always having someone to keep me company if I need it. Having the most amazing parent who tries to understand me and hugs me when I'm really homesick. Who don't judge me. My american family is amazing.
My friends - I have the best friends. They can always make me smile and I don't think I could ever be mad at them. They are here for me and they listen and tries to understand how I feel even though it is completely impossible for them to understand how I feel. I feel like I've known them my whole life. I can't imagine a life without them. Life is just wonderful.
THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE SO FAR WITHOUT DOUBT...but also the worst without doubt