Her den anden dag havde jeg Maria med i skole og det var superhyggeligt. Det var måske bare en smule synd for hende at den dag skulle vi selvfølgelig se en fødsel og hvordan en baby først ligner en grim lille alien før den er helt udviklet ADRK! helt seriøst babyer har ikke engang øjenlåg først så det er bare store runde hvide øjne der stirrer på dig og så ligner deres arme og fødder frøfødder og adder har ikke lyst til at tænke på det, det var virkelig ulækkert! kan virkelig ikke forstå, at jeg engang var sådan et grimt, ulækkert lille alien monster. Men anyways udover det var det super!
Prom er i om en uge!!!!!!!!! og jeg kan stadig ikke finde ud af hvordan jeg vil have mit hår! PANIK- hvis i har nogle ideer, så kom meget gerne med dem!
Som bonus får i lige et link til den her sang som jeg lytter til på repeat...elsker dem!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgFeZr5ptV8
fredag den 26. april 2013
lørdag den 20. april 2013
......
I just realized I only have 2 months left here. I don't know how to feel about it because I can't wait to see my family and all my best friends again but at the same time I don't want to leave my family and friends here. My exchange year have been so far from everything I expected it to be and sometimes I wonder why I'm even here. Why I'm not home in Denmark partying and having fun with all my friends. Sometimes I wonder if my friends really misses me and how it is gonna be when I'm back and I'm no longer the person they said goodbye to 8 months ago...Will they still love me? Are we gonna have anything to talk about? Are they gonna have so many new friends that I'm no longer important to them. Questions like that are always on my mind. I miss getting my daily hug from my parent more than anything. I miss my life in Denmark and this year really made me realize how wonderful my life was.
I still remember counting the days till I left. The flight - 48 hours without sleeping -The waiting - How nervous I was - Feeling like I was only gonna be away for a week - How I felt like I could conquer the whole world.
I remember my first meeting with the soccer team. Not being able to understand anything they said to me - just standing there smiling - not knowing that these girls would end up meaning the world to be - not knowing that these girls would be one of the reasons I survived this year.
I remember my first school day. Waking up really early and somehow almost showing up late anyways. Being completely overwhelmed as soon as I took a step into the school, I was ready to turn around and just leave, it was so extremely overwhelming.Feeling like a little mouse in the middle of a big corn field. Having to ask 5 people how to get to the class and feeling really stupid. Having to introduce my self and say my name 100 times. Sitting in class wondering who to sit with at lunch, if any of these people would become my friends. Wanting people to talk to me but being terrified when they did. Wondering what they thought of me and trying to listen to the teacher at the same time. Being mad because all these emotions and the food made my face break out. Slowly getting use to the big school. Hating some of my classes - having boring classes that made my mind wander instead of listening to the teacher. Wanting school to be over so I could see the soccer team. Practice, having fun and smiling for some time. Then soccer season ended and I had the worst time of my life - I was as down. I felt like I was standing on the bottom of a deep deep pit, so deep that it would be impossible for me to ever get up again. I remember crying every night. Calling home. Felling helpless. Being ready to take the next plane home. Being sad just became a part of my life. It was not just sometimes it was all the time. Having to hide how I felt was not easy - having to put on a fake smile all the time. Just wanting to run away and never see those people again. Calling YFU and feeling even more helpless. Feeling like they didn't understood me and how bad it was. I remember that time when they told they couldn't promise to move me. I was with her - she had basketball practice and had to leave me - I remember sitting on the floor in a completing foreign school crying - brawling my eyes out - just wanting someone to hug me. I remember when they finally told me I could move but they couldn't promise I could stay in this area. Leaving the house to cry because I didn't want to leave my new best friends and start over at a new school. Feeling like no one understood me. Just wanting to feel loved. Finally getting a new family. Moving in with them - being so happy to get away from the old place. At first being very shy. Being afraid it wouldn't work out either. After only a few days there feeling like it couldn't be more right. Feeling like I finally belonged somewhere. Feeling the happiness slowly coming back. Finding myself smiling for no apparent reason. Then being excited to leave, to get away for a week. Didn't expect much but that week ended up being the turning point. It turned everything upside down. Constantly smiling, laughing, feeling completely carefree. Being surrounded be people who understood me. Just having the time of my life. Feeling like no one could ever bring me down again. Before I knew it I was flying across the country back to Pennsylvania. Wanting to talk about that week all the time. Feeling HAPPY! Then the holidays came and I was really starting to feel like I was becoming a part of my new family. Expecting to get really homesick, but I didn't because I was happy and surrounded by lovely people. Starting the new semester and from the first day loving every single class. Being excited to go to school for a change. Slowing growing closer and closer with my new family. Finally reaching the point where I felt 100% comfortable with my family. Having some one to talk to when things get rough. Having someone who hugs me when I need it. Some one who knows me well enough to tell when I'm not in a good mood. Feeling loved. Feeling like it couldn't get any better. Feeling like everything is perfect. Reaching the point where I don't want to leave. Thinking about it makes me cry. I don't want to leave my new sister, my new parents and all my friends. I just don't want to. I love them all so much. Just wishing my american family and friends would move to Denmark so I could see them everyday. I know I'm going to miss my american family when I'm back - I'm gonna miss them just as much as I'm missing my Danish family right now. I love my life here and I couldn't be happier. I'm not ready to give up my life here. I'm not ready to give up waking up and getting ready with my sister. Having someone to borrow shoes or clothes from. Having someone to braid my hair. Sleeping in Kari's bed when I'm scared of something. Hugging her. Loving her. Just always having someone to keep me company if I need it. Having the most amazing parent who tries to understand me and hugs me when I'm really homesick. Who don't judge me. My american family is amazing.
My friends - I have the best friends. They can always make me smile and I don't think I could ever be mad at them. They are here for me and they listen and tries to understand how I feel even though it is completely impossible for them to understand how I feel. I feel like I've known them my whole life. I can't imagine a life without them. Life is just wonderful.
THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE SO FAR WITHOUT DOUBT...but also the worst without doubt
I still remember counting the days till I left. The flight - 48 hours without sleeping -The waiting - How nervous I was - Feeling like I was only gonna be away for a week - How I felt like I could conquer the whole world.
I remember my first meeting with the soccer team. Not being able to understand anything they said to me - just standing there smiling - not knowing that these girls would end up meaning the world to be - not knowing that these girls would be one of the reasons I survived this year.
I remember my first school day. Waking up really early and somehow almost showing up late anyways. Being completely overwhelmed as soon as I took a step into the school, I was ready to turn around and just leave, it was so extremely overwhelming.Feeling like a little mouse in the middle of a big corn field. Having to ask 5 people how to get to the class and feeling really stupid. Having to introduce my self and say my name 100 times. Sitting in class wondering who to sit with at lunch, if any of these people would become my friends. Wanting people to talk to me but being terrified when they did. Wondering what they thought of me and trying to listen to the teacher at the same time. Being mad because all these emotions and the food made my face break out. Slowly getting use to the big school. Hating some of my classes - having boring classes that made my mind wander instead of listening to the teacher. Wanting school to be over so I could see the soccer team. Practice, having fun and smiling for some time. Then soccer season ended and I had the worst time of my life - I was as down. I felt like I was standing on the bottom of a deep deep pit, so deep that it would be impossible for me to ever get up again. I remember crying every night. Calling home. Felling helpless. Being ready to take the next plane home. Being sad just became a part of my life. It was not just sometimes it was all the time. Having to hide how I felt was not easy - having to put on a fake smile all the time. Just wanting to run away and never see those people again. Calling YFU and feeling even more helpless. Feeling like they didn't understood me and how bad it was. I remember that time when they told they couldn't promise to move me. I was with her - she had basketball practice and had to leave me - I remember sitting on the floor in a completing foreign school crying - brawling my eyes out - just wanting someone to hug me. I remember when they finally told me I could move but they couldn't promise I could stay in this area. Leaving the house to cry because I didn't want to leave my new best friends and start over at a new school. Feeling like no one understood me. Just wanting to feel loved. Finally getting a new family. Moving in with them - being so happy to get away from the old place. At first being very shy. Being afraid it wouldn't work out either. After only a few days there feeling like it couldn't be more right. Feeling like I finally belonged somewhere. Feeling the happiness slowly coming back. Finding myself smiling for no apparent reason. Then being excited to leave, to get away for a week. Didn't expect much but that week ended up being the turning point. It turned everything upside down. Constantly smiling, laughing, feeling completely carefree. Being surrounded be people who understood me. Just having the time of my life. Feeling like no one could ever bring me down again. Before I knew it I was flying across the country back to Pennsylvania. Wanting to talk about that week all the time. Feeling HAPPY! Then the holidays came and I was really starting to feel like I was becoming a part of my new family. Expecting to get really homesick, but I didn't because I was happy and surrounded by lovely people. Starting the new semester and from the first day loving every single class. Being excited to go to school for a change. Slowing growing closer and closer with my new family. Finally reaching the point where I felt 100% comfortable with my family. Having some one to talk to when things get rough. Having someone who hugs me when I need it. Some one who knows me well enough to tell when I'm not in a good mood. Feeling loved. Feeling like it couldn't get any better. Feeling like everything is perfect. Reaching the point where I don't want to leave. Thinking about it makes me cry. I don't want to leave my new sister, my new parents and all my friends. I just don't want to. I love them all so much. Just wishing my american family and friends would move to Denmark so I could see them everyday. I know I'm going to miss my american family when I'm back - I'm gonna miss them just as much as I'm missing my Danish family right now. I love my life here and I couldn't be happier. I'm not ready to give up my life here. I'm not ready to give up waking up and getting ready with my sister. Having someone to borrow shoes or clothes from. Having someone to braid my hair. Sleeping in Kari's bed when I'm scared of something. Hugging her. Loving her. Just always having someone to keep me company if I need it. Having the most amazing parent who tries to understand me and hugs me when I'm really homesick. Who don't judge me. My american family is amazing.
My friends - I have the best friends. They can always make me smile and I don't think I could ever be mad at them. They are here for me and they listen and tries to understand how I feel even though it is completely impossible for them to understand how I feel. I feel like I've known them my whole life. I can't imagine a life without them. Life is just wonderful.
THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE SO FAR WITHOUT DOUBT...but also the worst without doubt
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